Marty Kevin Lay

Marty K. Lay, the original life of the party and a man who lived every chapter at full volume, died suddenly at his home in Santa Monica, California, on April 22, 2026. He was born in Tennessee to Rev. Andy W. and Kathy Jo Lay, arriving as the oldest of three children with a built-in determination and an opinion about everything.

The Lay family bounced from Tennessee to Kirksville to Joplin and finally landed in Carl Junction, Missouri—home of the Bulldogs. Marty made the most of every stop: first-chair violinist in youth orchestra, starting catcher on the all-star team, and later a standout in baseball, basketball, and football. Golf became Marty’s thing, competing at a high level for the Bulldogs and making it to the state tournament in both his junior and senior years.

He mastered the art of debate and drama, lighting up the speech and debate team as well as high school productions. Legend has it that Marty may have invented the saggy jeans trend in the mid-1980s—his friends affectionately called the look “MKLEC’s” (Marty Kevin Lay Extra Crotch). There’s also the unconfirmed tale of him “borrowing” the CJHS short bus during a speech and debate trip to fetch cigarettes and enjoy a brief frolic, only to return and discover the entire team had been waiting an hour.

After graduation, Marty declared he wanted a career where “no one would tell me what to do.” With minimal research into that particular life goal, he joined the United States Air Force. His natural smarts and talent led him to become a hazardous cargo expert for the massive C-5 Galaxy fleet in Biloxi, Mississippi—handling those loads with the same confidence he brought to the golf course.

Following his service, Marty returned briefly to Carl Junction, working at a local golf course and Eagle-Picher Industries. When his parents moved and he sensed something bigger calling, he headed to Los Angeles. There he dove into the car business, where his gift for connecting with people met his love of the game—both on the links and off. By the mid-’80s, with hair bands blaring and the city buzzing, he earned the well-deserved nickname, Party Marty. He embraced the scene with his trademark gregarious energy, holding onto that larger-than-life persona even through the wilder cocaine-fueled years.

After living harder and longer than most, Marty accepted help from friends and family and became a guest at the Union Rescue Mission in downtown Los Angeles. That’s where everything changed. He discovered he could still be the life of the party—without the party. Drawing on his own wild history and unstoppable personality, Marty worked through their program, graduated, and eventually became a Program Manager, spending years helping others get clean and step into the life God intended for them.

In 2022, Marty met the love of his later years, Sara, and they married in 2023. In his final chapter, he put his legendary negotiation and debate skills to excellent use as the personal representative for Sara’s daughter Tergel—expertly advocating for extra screen time and later bedtimes with the same determination he once brought to state golf tournaments.

Marty is survived by his wife Sara; daughters Andrea (Illinois) and Samantha (Missouri); grandson Maddox; step-children
Tserenpuntsag,
Tseenyam, and Tergel (California); and siblings Heidi Terry (California) and Jamie Lay (Colorado). He leaves behind countless friends and acquaintances who were drawn to his big personality, his infectious laugh, and the endless supply of stories from a very full, very human life. He will be deeply missed—and probably the subject of many toasts.

A joint celebration of life for Marty and his mother, Kathy Jo Lay, will be held at Rancho Tapo Community Park (known locally as Lemon Park), 3700 Avenida Simi, Simi Valley, CA, on Friday, June 12th at 4:00 p.m. In lieu of flowers, please consider a donation in Marty’s honor to the Union Rescue Mission (https://urm.org/), the place that helped him rewrite his story and helped so many others do the same.