Patricia C. Absey

Never one to do anything halfway, Patricia Carroll Absey became a scientist in the 1950s, raised five kids, earned a master’s degree in her fifties, and worked as a therapist into her mid-eighties. She passed away peacefully on October 19, 2026, in Woodland Hills, California.

Born in Los Angeles, CA on April 23, 1932, to John Lyman and Monica (née Auger) Carroll, Pat spent her childhood in Brentwood, CA working hard in school, doting on her little brother William, and practicing the piano. Much of her early life was defined by the war, and her early memories included creating a large and abundant Victory Garden with her mom and brother. She loved to recall pulling a wagon behind her to give away their Victory Garden produce and collect magazines (especially from celebrities in the area) for the war effort. Pat’s mother was an air raid warden for their neighborhood, and this gave young Pat and her brother a sense of family pride.

Pat received a Bachelor of Science from Mount St. Mary’s College (now Mount Saint Mary’s University), an all-women’s school in West LA, where she majored in bacteriology and minored in chemistry. She spent her days in the science labs on campus and was active with the Kappa Theta Mu science club. Despite her heavy workload, Pat was also Treasurer, Pledge Mistress, and President of the Tau Alpha Zeta sorority and was active in numerous other student groups and clubs. She was known for hosting great gatherings and sharing wonderful stories. As smart and studious as she was, Pat still found time to have adventures with her friends, flirt with a lot of boys, and sneak the occasional cigarette.

Just five days after graduating from college, Pat married Donald Michael Absey in June 1954, and they had five children together. They were married for 69 years until Don’s passing in 2023. Pat and Don were dedicated to each other and their children and created a lively and loving household. Pat was a devoted mom and worked hard raising five kids. She made clothes, prepared three meals a day for seven people, planned trips, managed pets, the home, and friends coming in and out all the time. Pat did all the million unseen and underappreciated things a mom does. She was the family glue in so many ways and was the invisible hand that made holidays, special events, friendships, birthdays, and travel happen for her family. She loved being a mom and always said raising five kids was the great joy of her life. And it showed.

After her last kid left home, Pat received her Master of Arts in Family and Child Counseling and had a 30-year career supporting children and families, lasting into her mid-eighties. She was especially focused on the use of sand tray therapy for children, an expressive form of psychotherapy where clients build scenes in a tray of sand using miniature figures, objects, and water. Pat helped her clients process grief, trauma, conflict, and loss using this technique. She grounded her practice in Jungian beliefs that emotional healing involves embracing all aspects of ourselves. Being a therapist was Pat’s calling, and she gave her clients the rare gift of being truly heard, helping countless people find their way through the hardest moments of their lives.

Creating beauty and including others were at the center of Pat’s life: needlepoint, knitting, and embroidery, hosting holidays and parties, setting a lovely table, arranging flowers, cooking delicious food, building rituals and traditions, and inviting others to join in whatever she was creating. Pat’s home was always open to those who needed a place to land, for a meal or for a longer stay. Pat had an unerring ability to find the sunshine in situations and liked to create fun wherever she was. She was a terrific storyteller and loved to have a good laugh with family and friends.

Together with her husband Don, Pat loved to travel, attend the theater, and spend time with their large family and their many friends. They loved a game of Dominoes, Killer, or Acey Ducey and, since they both had a fierce competitive streak, kept track of their wins and losses over many decades. Pat and Don were unwavering in their support of their kids and grandkids and took special joy in their grandkids’ activities and education.

Pat was deeply spiritual and anchored her life in the Catholic teachings of St. Therese of Lisieux, St. Francis of Assisi, and St. Hildegard of Bingen. She meditated regularly and took great solace in walking meditations whenever she found the opportunity, especially in labyrinths. She also took multiple Jungian tours throughout the world, marrying her love of psychology and her love of travel. Pat and Don supported their church throughout their lives, including co-leading (with some of their dearest friends) a youth group to inspire young people in their Catholic faith.

After her diagnosis, facing an illness that would slowly take so much from her, Pat wrote in her journal: “May I be free from fear and harm, May I be happy as I am, May I be at peace with whatever comes.” While the years between her diagnosis and her passing were not easy, Pat continued to share her joy, her humor, and her love with her friends, family, and caregivers. Until the end, she was a mom, a therapist, and a friend, even when robbed of so much else.

Pat was predeceased by her husband Don and her brother William, but her beautiful spirit lives on in her five beloved children and their spouses: Anne, Jennifer (Craig), Michael, Monica (Brian), and Julie (Roy); her five grandchildren and their spouses: Genevieve (Bonnie), Alena (Ricky), Danielle (John), Matthew, and Olivia; her nine great-grandchildren Zaiden, Frankie Mae, Peter, Clara, Madelyn, Vivianna, Joseph, David, and Rose; as well as her treasured nieces and nephews, and her favorite cousin, Rosalyn Kraft.

Services

Memorial Mass at 11:30 a.m. on Saturday, January 30, 2027
St. Bernardine of Siena Catholic Church
24410 Calvert Street, Woodland Hills, CA
Following the service, a reception will be held in the parish hall

Inurnment will take place promptly at 11 a.m. on Monday, February 1, 2027
Los Angeles National Cemetery
950 S. Sepulveda Blvd, Los Angeles, CA

In lieu of flowers, donations in Pat’s memory can be made to Mount Saint Mary’s University
Online at www.msmu.edu/donate (designated to the “Mount Fund”)

Or via check made payable to:
Mount Saint Mary’s University
Office of Institutional Advancement
10 Chester Place
Los Angeles, CA 90007
In memo section please write: “In memory of Patricia Carroll Absey”